


from human to bird and back

by Lertsek



Series: it's only living endless here [1]
Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: M/M, References to Depression, woo is just Tired
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-20
Updated: 2020-04-20
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:46:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23761039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lertsek/pseuds/Lertsek
Summary: Wooyoung is tired, but like always, San is there to help.
Relationships: Choi San/Jung Wooyoung
Series: it's only living endless here [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1817563
Comments: 5
Kudos: 42





	from human to bird and back

San’s hand feels like an anchor. 

The motions it makes when carding through Wooyoung’s hair are soft, but not careful, San knows better by now. He knows he shouldn’t treat Wooyoung like a precious vase that will fall and shatter when you give a little push. 

The hand stops on his neck and San’s thumb brushes at the hair there before he lets his hand go back up to the top of Wooyoung’s head. His roots are coming through, badly, another piece of the puzzle that makes up his mental state. 

At least he showered today. Or was that yesterday? No, it was this morning because San made him ginger tea and had then pushed him to the bathroom with a towel in one hand and the other on Wooyoung’s back, guiding him, joking that if Wooyoung didn’t wash himself now the neighbors might start to complain. 

“I’m tired,” Wooyoung says, for the fourth time today. It feels like he has become one of those old clocks out of which wooden figures would appear to dance every hour. The only difference to those happy smiles is that Wooyoung feels more like the bird that comes out of other clocks, the one that caws for a minute and then retreats, but instead of shrieking Wooyoung just states his exhaustion. 

“I know,” San responds, for the fourth time today. Wooyoung is grateful he still responds at all, would probably only sink deeper if San didn’t. 

He wants to tell San he is grateful. For everything. For being there from start to finish every day, week, month, year. But it seems like one of those things that can’t be expressed through words, and if it could, it would cost a lot, simply because San deserves fourteen dictionaries stacked on top of one another and then some more. Wooyoung gets tired just thinking about how many words it would take. He hums, just once, loud because the room is silent even if it was meant to not be heard at all. 

San scratches behind his ear and Wooyoung leans into it, lets his eyes fall shut. He could fall asleep in San’s lap like this, probably will. He silently thanks San for urging him to change for bed and not just fall asleep on the couch in jeans and a shirt that will become too cold as the night stretches on.

The bird in him wants to jump out and make another exclamation. Wooyoung keeps it in his brain, lets another mention of being tired drag against the walls of his mind. It exhausts him even further, and yet he can’t help it. 

Wooyoung sucks in a breath and with it enough energy to push out, “Could you?” 

San gets it instantly, like he always does. He starts to talk about his day, names details and people Wooyoung will forget but is grateful for right now. San talks in soft and quiet tones and Wooyoung knows it will lull him to sleep, sooner rather than later. 

“Thank you,” he pushes out in a whisper, and right after, “I’m sorry.” 

San stops in the middle of telling him how he had recorded that game show Wooyoung likes so they can watch it tomorrow to instead say, “You don’t have to be sorry Wooyoung.” 

They’ve had this talk before, more times than Wooyoung is proud of, but he guesses he still needs to hear it. 

“I just feel…” he trails off, his throat closing up. “Bother.” 

San runs his nails over Wooyoung’s scalp softly like he knows Wooyoung likes. “You are never a bother,” he says. “You’re just human, Wooyoung.” 

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah.” 

The room falls quiet again. Wooyoung shifts his head, moves one of his hands under it so it can function as a self-made pillow. His mind still won’t quiet down, despite that tiredness clinging to every part of him, inside and out. 

Wooyoung’s brain comes to a halt as San speaks again. “The world might look ugly tonight, Woo, but I promise you can see beauty in it again tomorrow.” 

The words make a little weight fall off of Wooyoung’s shoulders. Just the night. He just has to get through the night. 

“I do want to taste your ginger tea again,” Wooyoung says, a small smile threatening to break out on his lips. 

He can hear the smile San himself has when he responds, “It will be waiting for you in the morning.” 

“Yeah?” Wooyoung asks again, feeling his eyes get heavier and heavier. He wants to give in, to let his mind shut up if only for a little while. 

“Yeah,” San whispers back. 

Wooyoung lets his body finally relax, he consciously releases his muscles from their tenseness. _Go,_ he’s telling them, his body, himself. _It’s okay._

With San’s hand still carding through his hair like an anchor to the real world, Wooyoung lets the tiny wooden bird in him settle down into its nest, lets himself give in to sleep. 

There is something he has to wake up to after all.

**Author's Note:**

> This was me self projecting into the next dimension but I needed it and if you did too then here it is. 
> 
> I love you, friend, sleep well.


End file.
